About “The Naked Woman”
My most spectacular failure and breakthrough work about sex. People thought I was putting women down. They were wrong. The people I was making fun of were men. Specifically, recently divorced men. Who had convinced themselves that women cared more about chocolate than sex.
I knew different. I know a lot about sex. I’m very good at it. More than any of the men I wrote about in ‘The Naked Woman.’ No. Not a guy with a huge cock. The exact right length. 6 1/2 inches if you’re asking. Just enough to bump the end of the vaginal vault. But I also have fingers and a tongue from lady heaven. All the guys in ‘The Naked Woman’ were just doing it wrong.
The book should have been a huge success. Making a mockery of men. Why haven’t I ever been the whistleblower of my own work? Vanity. Embarrassment. Prudery.
Actually great at sex. Better that than a succexxful writer. I was still youngish then. Couldn’t believe no one would confess to the truth. They lost their women because they sucked at sex.
I found the G-Spot before anyone wrote about it. You can find it with an index finger properly applied. Not an urban legend. Women squirt. Why so many of their lives are fatally stricken. They go for bad boys.
They will all admit to it. Under the right circumstances. The thing they most like in life is getting fucked, fucked hard, until they scream. Unless you have what they like better, fingers and a tongue capable of penetrating their souls.
The thing you guys need to know. I’m seventy now and past it in terms of cock strength. But. But I don’t even like to see who they really are underneath anymore. Feminism is the sorriest joke ever played on the human race. You want to contend with your feminist wife? Fuck her. Fuck her till she screams. Then you can go out and save the world or whatever else you dream about. Even the Red Sox.
How do I know all this? This is only half satirical. If you’re truly great, you are meta-conscious. Talk to the hand.
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